This one is a sensitive thought for some. I do not mean to offend anyone by this post. Just something I have been thinking about over the last week and I admit now that my opinion is mine and may be considered by some wrong.
It is said that the two biggest reasons for divorce are sex and money. Personally I think there is one factor that is common among the two reasons which is lack of communication.
One of the talks at church today hit on this subject a bit. He talked about marriage and compared our marriages with that of the Lords(the Bridegroom). The Lord was very good at communicating. He often, even though he knew what was needed, would listen and wait until the disciples(his covenant people) asked him for those things.
Communication is the
single second most important aspect in a marriage. The first is what the other talk in church hit on; Christ should be number 1. If we aren't open and honest with our spouses/partners things will not change. There is a time and place to bring up issues that are bothering each individual and this should be done regularly. Nothing hurts anyone more than a small matter becoming larger because someone allowed it to fester inside for too long.
Be open with your spouse/partner with all matters, especially sex and money. Money is a very large stressor in a lot of peoples lives, if not everyones life. Being open and communicating with your spouse/partner about money will help ease that stress. Imagine being on a tight budget, yet a parter makes a large purchase(eg. new laptop) without talking it over with the other partner first. There are a few feelings and thoughts running through the partners head.
1. Left out.
2. More stressed about money because the couple really couldn't afford it.
3. Insignificant because it appears the partner did not want to include the other in the decision.
4. Angry because the previous three fester.
Proper communication is not just great advice for salesmen who want to woo their clients. It is one of the most important characteristics of a successful marriage.
This also works with good things as well. Like saying "I love you", or "I'm sorry". Saying encouraging things to our children and spouse/partner help to build trust and love in the relationship. Never assume the other person knows anything, even that you love them. Make it a point to communicate that to them.
One last point. Communication is more than just words. According to psychology today, "...55% of communication is body language, 38% is tone of voice, and 7% is the actual words"(http://goo.gl/WPs8wu
Communication is not just about saying what's on your mind, it's showing it.
It's not to difficult to know what someone is thinking if you just watch their body language. It is almost like reading their mind.
You may not agree with this post, and I would love to hear what you feel makes a marriage or relationship successful. Feel free to send me a FaceBook message or leave a comment.